MTMDebra | Make Today Matter | Life Balance | Time Management — A resource for families to help them with daily life balance issues on Faith, Health, Self, Money, Relationships, Career, Household Management, Information Management, and Meal Management.

Frustration, an essential for your toolbox? Really..

by MTMDebra

Can Frustration really be a valuable tool in your Life Balance (Make Today Matter) Toolbox? Sure….if your attitude see's it as an opportunity instead of a roadblock.

Last week I sat and listened. I've actually heard a lot of new things. Like the tick-tock of our hallway clock that's been there for 10+ years. Like the little squeal that comes before my son starts to laugh like he is reviving up his laugh motor. Or like the little voice that says, I'm frustrated with where I'm at in life. I haven't heard that voice in a long, long time. I did hear it last week though. Since I've been filling my Make Today Matter toolbox, I seem to handle frustration a lot better. But last week in listening, I did hear it. I'm frustrated that I'm at a stand still in my getting healthy life style, So I leaned in and listened to the frustration and you know what, this week I'm pushing myself harder in the gym and focusing on drinking more water. That frustration was the push I needed, I'm feeling healthier. Frustration is usually what causes us to want to change. Frustration is what pushes us to say I've had enough. Frustration when used correctly can be a positive force and a great tool in your Life Balance Toolbox.

Frustration stems from an emotion, therefore it is controllable. Many people feel frustration when they feel like things are out of their perceived control. Frustration is a common emotion to opposition. It rises from the perceived resistance to the fulfillment of individual will. Basically they are not meeting their wants. So to learn to control your frustration emotion, you need to ask yourself "what is the end result that I want?" What is your will?

Frustration is usually a negative emotion. It doesn't feel good to be frustrated. So you may be asking yourself how can frustration be a valuable tool in your Life Skill toolbox? Here's How:

1) It should cause you to step back an re-evaluate the situation.
2) It should be looked at as an opportunity to brainstorm a better solution.
3) It should make you look for the "silver lining" in every situation.
4) It reminds us the all important, "not my will, but HIS will be done."

Frustration is an emotion that can't be avoided, but it can be valuable if you change your view of it and look at situations as opportunities. Here's one example of how I took a frustrating situation of losing my job and turned it into an opportunity: Love where you are at.

Some Additional Thoughts:

Generalized anger and frustration is something that gets you in the studio, and gets you to work – though it's not necessarily evident in anything that's finished. ~
Bruce Nauman

All that is necessary to break the spell of inertia and frustration is to – act as if it were impossible to fail. ~ Dorothea Brande

Despair and frustration will not shake our belief that the resistance is the only way of liberation. ~ Emile Lahud

Frustration, although quite painful at times, is a very positive and essential part of success. ~ Bo Bennett

Laughter and tears are both responses to frustration and exhaustion. I myself prefer to laugh, since there is less cleaning up to do afterward. ~ Kurt Vonnegut

Life is not an easy matter… You cannot live through it without falling into frustration and cynicism unless you have before you a great idea which raises you above personal misery, above weakness, above all kinds of perfidy and baseness. ~ Leon Trotsky

My recipe for dealing with anger and frustration: set the kitchen timer for twenty minutes, cry, rant, and rave, and at the sound of the bell, simmer down and go about business as usual. ~ Phyllis Diller

Our fatigue is often caused not by work, but by worry, frustration and resentment.
Dale Carnegie

I've come to believe that all my past failure and frustration were actually laying the foundation for the understandings that have created the new level of living I now enjoy. ~ Anthony Robbins

People who fail to achieve their goals usually get stopped by frustration. They allow frustration to keep them from taking the necessary actions that would support them in achieving their desire. You get through this roadblock by plowing through frustration, taking each setback as feedback you can learn from, and pushing ahead. I doubt you'll find many successful people who have not experienced this. All successful people learn that success is buried on the other side of frustration. ~ Anthony Robbins

We would love to know what your thoughts were on today's article, please leave your comment below. Really, communication is a two way street, talk to me! Let me listen.

Debra Pickford has worked with Make Today Matter Life System since 2008 and Direct sales for 8 years. She helps women in the mulitiple areas of Life Balance such as Faith, Money, Health, Relationships and Household Management. She is founder of MTM Life Center, a firm dedicated to helping women and their families live the life they were designed to live. To learn more about how she can help you and your family, click here.

{ 25 comments }

Lean in and Listen?

by MTMDebra

A Lesson from my dog:

Lots of people talk to animals…. Not very many listen, though…. That's the problem. ~Benjamin Hoff, The Tao of Pooh

Well today is my day to blog. And you know what I'm empty? I have writer's block some may call it. But I don't feel like it's writer's block, today there's really nothing on my heart to talk about. It's not a frustrating empty, it's a "be quite" empty.

I've struggled for over two hours trying to find the right topic that you want to hear about, what I have to say, what's on my mind. But this blog isn't about me, it's about you my readers. I've even googled many topics on life coaching, self-help, life balanced, fitness, health, making today matter, faith, money, etc. to see if something speaks to me. That's why you are here right to learn something on these topics?

I've said my prayers and included "give me words of wisdom." And I'm still empty. So I did what your supposed to when you have writer's block, I took a break. I let my dog out side. While I was waiting for him to do his business, I stood listening to the ice melt. And I've finally figure it out. I'm not supposed to talk all the time. Today I'm to listen! So today I'm going to go into my life skill tool box and lean in an listen. I'm going to Make Today Matter and listen to the ice melting, the dripping of water from the frozen trees, and to my readers. I'm going to have the courage to listen and let you talk today. So leave me a comment below and tell me what's on your mind today? What are you needing? How can I help you today? Please listen carefully and try to hear what I am not saying.

Some Additional thougths:

Wisdom is the reward you get for a lifetime of listening when you'd have preferred to talk. ~ Doug Larson

We have two ears and one mouth so that we can listen twice as much as we speak. ~Epictetus

Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen. ~Winston Churchill

I tell you everything that is really nothing, and nothing of what is everything, do not be fooled by what I am saying. Please listen carefully and try to hear what I am not saying. ~Charles C. Finn

The most important thing in communication is to hear what isn't being said. ~Peter F. Drucker

Lots of people talk to animals…. Not very many listen, though…. That's the problem. ~Benjamin Hoff, The Tao of Pooh

“Don't underestimate the value of Doing Nothing, of just going along, listening to all the things you can't hear, and not bothering.” Winnie the Pooh

“It is the province of knowledge to speak, and it is the privilege of wisdom to listen.” Oliver Wendell Holmes

“Most of the successful people I've known are the ones who do more listening than talking.” Bernard M. Baruch

“Listening is a magnetic and strange thing, a creative force. The friends who listen to us are the ones we move toward. When we are listened to, it creates us, makes us unfold and expand.” Unknown

“While the right to talk may be the beginning of freedom, the necessity of listening is what makes the right important” Walter Lippmann

We would love to know what your thoughts were on today's article, please leave your comment below. Really, communication is a two way street, talk to me! Let me listen.

{ 20 comments }

Make Today Matter (MTM), What it really means…

by MTMDebra

Make Today Matter is not just a motto it is a way of life for me. As I've been discussing some life balance tools, this one is the most important to me. Why? Because today is all we are really guarenteed? Today is a precious gift from God, that's why we call it the present. I can't change what happened yesterday and I can't control what happens tomorrow. I can plan for tomorrow yes, but really all I have control of is how I handle the 24 hours of Today.

This week was a very hard one for me personally. I said goodbye to my mom a year ago, Feb 16, 2010. I also said goodbye to my dad 8 months before that. So many people have said to me, "I don't know how you are handling saying goodbye to both parents in such a short time." My reply comes with peace. "I don't regret a moment I spent with my parents."

I don't look back on my fathers death and remember finding him laying underneath the pine tree from a massive heart attack. I wasn't ready to say goodbye. But my last memory of him is not that it's the night before he passed away. My daughter and I had a softball game (I coached.) After the game all I was thinking about was getting home and making supper, doing laundry, and getting homework done. My dad said, it's a beautiful night let's go for ice cream. I was like, we haven't even had supper yet. My kids both looked at me like come on, it's ice cream. I gave in and decide, you know what let's have dessert before supper for once, so we went. Grandpa treated the kids and we laughed and listened to my dad's stories. I'm so glad I took the time to enjoy the evening rather than what I "should be doing." I didn't know at the time I made the decision to go for ice cream that it would be the last time with my father. I just know at the moment, I wanted to Make Today Matter and going for ice cream seemed to matter. Little did I know it really MATTER, even a year later as I was remembering my mom.

I'm so thankful I found out how to Make Today Matter, before it was too late. Put TODAY in your toolbox for success, you won't regret it.

Some Additional Thoughts:

Good Morning: Something Great is going to happen Today!! I wonder what it is. ~ Brook Noel creator of Make TODAY Matter Life System

Having spent the better part of my life trying either to relive the past or experience the future before it arrives, I have come to believe that in between these two extremes is peace. ~Author Unknown

With the past, I have nothing to do; nor with the future. I live now. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

Don't let the past steal your present. ~Terri Guillemets

You can clutch the past so tightly to your chest that it leaves your arms too full to embrace the present. ~Jan Glidewell

Don't let yesterday use up too much of today. ~Cherokee Indian Proverb

No yesterdays are ever wasted for those who give themselves to today. ~Brendan Francis

If you have one eye on yesterday, and one eye on tomorrow, you're going to be cockeyed today. ~Author Unknown

Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. And today? Today is a gift. That's why we call it the present. ~Babatunde Olatunji

If you worry about what might be, and wonder what might have been, you will ignore what is. ~Author Unknown

One of the most tragic things I know about human nature is that all of us tend to put off living. We are all dreaming of some magical rose garden over the horizon – instead of enjoying the roses that are blooming outside our windows today. ~Dale Carnegie

We would love to know what your thoughts were on today's article, please leave your comment below.

{ 9 comments }

No Procrastination! Yikes!!

by MTMDebra

No Excuse and even No Regrets are pretty easy skills for me to add to my life skills toolbox, but No procrastination….now that one's going to take some work. Obviously, even this article is a day late because (why?)? I really don't know why. I started off this week, knowing that my topic would be procrastination. I was so excited Monday of all the things I was going to talk about and say, but for some unknown reason, my mind keep putting it off. Not on purpose, but now that I look back on the week was my subconscious playing a trick on me? I was busy all week, it wasn't like I said, I'll do it tomorrow or it's not due yet because I know I post my articles on Thursday. Hummm….puzzling so I dug a little deeper. So instead of written…..I ended up googling procrastionation, and came across this and it explains what I've been thinking better then I can. Enjoy:

Obviously I have a lot of work on this skill of NO Procrastination!! My mom always called me the tomorrow kid! Good thing Make Today Matter's Procrastination class starts Monday. If you have a procrastination trait in you…join me!! I can even get you in free…so there's no excuse! If you don't join us….then I can't help you with the NO Regrets on this one. Reminds me of the another famous quote: You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make them drink.

I'm making Today Matter are you?

Some Addtional Thoughts:

“Most people live and die with their music still unplayed,” Mary Kay Ash once said. “They never dare to try.”

Nothing is so fatiguing as the eternal hanging on of an uncompleted task. ~William James

Anyone can do any amount of work, provided it isn't the work he is supposed to be doing at that moment. ~Robert Benchley

The two rules of procrastination: 1) Do it today. 2) Tomorrow will be today tomorrow. ~Author Unknown

If you want to make an easy job seem mighty hard, just keep putting off doing it. ~Olin Miller

"For every failure, there's an alternative course of action. You just have to find it. When you come to a roadblock, take a detour." Mary Kay Ash

"Procrastination is the fear of success. People procrastinate because they are afraid of the success that they know will result if they move ahead now. Because success is heavy, carries a responsibility with it, it is much easier to procrastinate and live on the “someday I’ll” philosophy." Denis Waitley

We would love to know what your thoughts were on today's article, please leave your comment below.

{ 11 comments }

One’s Real Life…No Regrets

by MTMDebra

In my No Excuse mindset, I stumbled upon another valuable tool to add to my tool box … NO REGRETS.

This weekend I was reminiscing with some great friends about the days gone past, the theme seemed to be "If I had only known then what I know now things would be different." My friends started sharing story after story about all they could have done, could have been, could have seen — sharing their stories of regrets. My NO EXCUSES mindset went to work and started to ask them, what's stopping you now? Life's not over yet, It's like they heard it for the first time, and boy did the excuses start coming up.

Through reflecting this weekend's theme, I was reminded of a Good Morning article from my Life Balance Mentor Brook Noel…She mentions this quote:

“One’s real life is often the life that one does not lead.”
~Oscar Wilde

She goes on to explain about life opportunities and possibility: Here is an insert from her Good Morning that she titled "Step Out of your Comfort Zone: (I think it fits perfect with my NO REGRETS TITLE)

Options are comforting. Without options, we feel trapped and vulnerable. When we generate options and possibilities, we free our spirit. When we open ourselves to options and possibilities, the world brings them to our door. But there is an inherent danger in this as well. While options and possibilities are comforting, actually taking advantage of an option or possibility can leave us anxious and full of fear. So we have a choice. Do we take that step or do we turn away from the very options and possibilities that we sought?

Many people will be like those I mentioned in the first paragraph. They will seek opportunity and options. They will wait for them. They will watch them come–and they will watch them go. And someday they will remember those options with regret in their voice. But at least they were safe. They did not stumble, they did not fall,
they were not bruised.

And then there will be other people–many less of them, but they exist nonetheless. These people seek out the options. They wait for them. They watch them come and they hold their breath and jump. And it is exhilarating, no matter whether they land on their feet or on their head. Because when you believe and jump, you learn the true meaning of faith. You learn to trust in life and the process instead of yourself and your mind. And once you reach that place … your options and possibilities are limitless.

Your Turn:
Think about your life and the options, dreams and possibilities you have sought out. Have you hunted for something, only to retreat when it landed on your doorstep? We can only learn and become more by going to a place where we don’t know and we have room to become. Columbus couldn’t have discovered the world if he only looked in his backyard. Where are your options taking you? What land are you being called to discover? What will you do about it? Will you live your story, or will you tell a story of regret?

Your affirmation:
I step outside of my comfort zone and into life.

Brook's ending is powerful…will you tell a story of regret? Or will you say at the end of your life, I made a few mistakes, but I got right back up and kept going. I lived life on my terms and not that of anyone else's. I lived my REAL life, the one I was created to live. The choice is your's stop living in regret and wishful thinking, Live your dreams!

My affirmation:

I live my life from this day forward with no regrets.

Some Additional Thoughts:

Don't limit yourself. Many people limit themselves to what they think they can do. You can go as far as your mind lets you. What you believe, remember, you can achieve. ~ Mary Kay Ash

There are three types of people in this world: Those who make things happen, those who watched things happen and those who wonder what happened. We all have a choice. You can decide which type of person you want to be. I have always chosen to be in the first group!
– Mary Kay Ash

“If only. Those must be the two saddest words in the world.” ~ Mercedes Lackey

“Many of us crucify ourselves between two thieves – regret for the past and fear of the future.”~ Fulton Oursler

“Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable.”~ Sydney Smith

“Regret for time wasted can become a power for good in the time that remains, if we will only stop the waste and the idle, useless regretting.”~ Arthur Brisbane

We would love to know what your thoughts were on today's article, please leave your comment below.

{ 14 comments }

No More Excuses

I'm on a personal mission this year, to take away the excuses and focus on the real reasons behind my issues and that of my clients. I've even put it up as the theme of my new year/Grand Opening…NO MORE EXCUSES. In doing this I have more of a mental awareness when I hear [...]

Read the full article →

Love where you are at!

Ever have a phase echo in your mind? Today during my morning routine I keep hear that little voice whispering to me…Love where you are at? I kept trying to brush it off, because I'm content right now in my life. I'm happy right where I'm at. It wasn't always like that. Then the voice [...]

Read the full article →

Pass the word…

Grand Opening Jan 1, 2011 ~ Jan 15, 2011 www.mtmdebra.com Exercise and Wellness Center to help you make the most of your Life. MTM Life Center has a fully equipped exercise facility. Join us Jan 1, 2011 through Jan 15, 2011 for our Grand Opening. We will have specials on MTM memberships and fitness memberships. [...]

Read the full article →

New Year’s Resolutions: Are They Dead, Or Just A Lost Art?

Less than 50% of Americans set resolutions and more than 80% of those set are abandoned by the end of February. Why are new-year’s resolutions so hard to achieve? They lack the proper attention for success. Best-selling self help author, Brook Noel, shares her approach to setting and achieving goals of any size. She offers [...]

Read the full article →

MTMDebra | Make Today Matter | Life Balance | Time Management

Frustration, an essential for your toolbox? Really..

Lean in and Listen?

Make Today Matter (MTM), What it really means…

No Procrastination! Yikes!!

One’s Real Life…No Regrets

No More Excuses

Love where you are at!

Pass the word…

New Year’s Resolutions: Are They Dead, Or Just A Lost Art?

Connect with Debra

Because Today Matters!!

Connect with Debra

Because Today Matters!!

Tags